I recently sold some old jewelry I owned that had been lying around for many years, which I never wore. There was one item that I hesitated to sell after trying it on again—I didn’t want to get rid of it after all. When I decided to keep it I promised myself that I would wear it and make good use of it, not ignoring it like I had all those years. It was interesting—I cherished it more than I had previously, knowing what its value was. Wearing it felt more special than it had prior.
This experience brought up two questions for me:
1) How many valuable things do I have that are merely sitting around and not getting any use for the purpose for which they were made?
2) Do I recognize my own worth? I treasure this necklace when I wear it around my neck—do I treasure myself? Do I view myself as valuable? Do my thoughts about myself and my self-talk exhibit self-worth? Do I treasure myself as much as I treasure this newly found necklace?…I’m afraid to answer that.
I continue to be stuck in a mindset that denies my inherent worth. I am only good enough if I can accomplish, achieve. Each set back in my life weighs down on me so heavily. “The jury is out, I am a failure!” goes the broken record in my head.
And sure, there are things in life that I need to improve on: figure out my profession as relates to my new status of being a mom, figure out money matters. But until I do, am I to wallow in this state of anxiety and fear? Am I worthy as I am? Or do I have to prove myself worthy through my actions and accomplishments?
The hill before me is steep and I am growing weary of the climb.