My mom visited this past week for a few days. It was cool having her watch the baby. It certainly did take a load off. Also I loved seeing her cuz I love my mom!
Having my first child far away from my childhood home has been an adventure. We certainly do lack the support system of nearby grandparents. On the other hand, it feels liberating to be able to build our family from the ground up without having the constant feedback and impact of nearby ‘rents.
Sometimes I feel a sense of melancholy however when I feel such intense love for my baby daughter and then think about how I, my mother’s daughter, have moved so far away from my mother. Having just begun to taste what it feels like to be a mom, I understand that longing for one’s child a bit better than I used to. I feel bad for my mom. I also start to wonder, “What if my own child moves far away from me when she is grown up—man, that will be hard!”
Loving so deeply and unconditionally this beautiful child which you (with your husband and G-d’s help) miraculously created—or rather was created inside of you—and then having to learn to let go and give the child the space to flourish and be on its own.
The proximity of such a deep feeling of love and closeness to the thought of distance is a painful thought for me indeed.
Then I remind myself that my child is only 8 months old, and I best live in the moment.
We can’t project what things will be like, and future thinking only brings heightened emotion and worry. Everything unfolds gradually and there is much richness in life to be experienced in each and every stage.