Being Driven by One’s EGO is Exhausting

My mom loves sharing her unique insights with me. Whether it be about a dvar Torah (a speech on lessons from the Torah) she is giving, or an insight she shared in a Torah class—she finds much joy in highlighting what were her unique, original ideas. I am fortunate to have a mom is so passionate and learned. This observation has also created the backdrop to the following thought: Seeking credit is exhausting!

This concept hit me again as I was working with my co-teacher in the classroom. When I would have an idea that worked with the children, I would say to myself, “Yes, MY idea worked!” And when my co-teacher had an idea that worked, I felt a small, quiet part of myself mourn, “Man, I shoulda thought of that!”

Sure, being proud of oneself is a natural and healthy emotion. But I feel sometimes I identify too strongly with that feeling. And it drains my energy to recognize, “Yay, that was my idea!” or “Shucks, my suggestion didn’t work, but hers did.”

I wish I had more of a collective mindset—to see things as being on a team: Learning from each other, contributing to each other—and most importantly, contributing to the GREATER GOOD.