New Year, New Narrative

Yesterday, I wrote about my New Year’s resolution to have a more positive attitude about my social media usage—in particular, to not obsess over how many likes I get or feel discouraged when seeing others with so many more followers than me.

Later that day my mom mentioned an article about this very topic! And she hadn’t even known about my New Year’s resolution!

This morning I read this article and, as expected, I related to it very much and found it quite helpful! Click here for that article.

Then I went back to reading a book that I rediscovered on my bookshelf called, “7 Days to a Positive Attitude.”

As I sat there reading in the early morning hours, knowing that at any moment my beloved daughter would awaken, I was flooded with memories of the many meditation retreats and mindfulness seminars I attended in my twenties. In recalling these memories, my body and mind felt that same inner state of stillness and openness to personal growth that I had sensed while at these workshops.

Along with my renewed commitment to having a more self-growth oriented approach to social media, I’ve also been working on having more positive self-talk when it comes to my social life. I am struggling to understand my place in my new community. Who are my friends? Who are my future friends? I am interested in meeting lots of people, but am coming to realize that many people already have their social circles set and are not eager to venture out of them. I feel like I am back in high school: appreciating my two close friends, but yearning to branch out more.

Nevertheless, I am committed to taking on a more positive approach to this dilemma, rather than falling into the rabbit hole of self-doubt, negative self-talk, and blame of myself and others.

And as I sat here this morning—memories of all the spiritual retreats I’ve attended rushing through my mind—I realized that I have the emotional wherewithal to figure all this out. And more than that, I remembered how I felt while on these retreats—the intimacy of being MYSELF among a group of fellow soul-searchers, that stillness, that connection with my CORE.

This morning, I experienced my ESSENTIAL SELF for the first time in a long time. And it made me realize that instead of investing my energy in wondering what’s happening in others’ lives, I want to pour that energy into nurturing myself and my family.