Family Reunion Triggers Self-Judgment

As I look forward to seeing many of my beloved relatives, I am NOT looking forward to the inevitable psychological backlash.

When I see these relatives (basically, all of them) I am reminded of the person who I used to be, the young woman they saw blossoming and were so excited for what was to come!

But one-and-a-half years ago I decided to put my esteemed nutrition career on hiatus and focus on childrearing. And for the past 10 months I have been working in a preschool, where I can be near/with my daughter.

And unlike the fantasy I built up in my head prior from moving from NYC to ATL, I do NOT have a thriving nutrition private practice. Sure, I had a few clients for a while, but then I shifted gears to devote all my energy to working full-time at the preschool, as well as taking care of my now 15-month-old daughter. Not to mention, taking some time for my own self-care, as well as nurturing the relationship with my husband. (Man, society demands so much from us!)

Anyway, bottom line, my nutrition business is on hiatus, and with it, my self-respect. I love the work I do at the preschool, but the nutritionist side of me is quite frustrated and upset.

And when I see my relatives, or even think about my relatives, all this shame is triggered even more deeply. I know I’m not doing what I originally set out to do. I know it looks different. I know it’s a risk. I know I’ve shifted my priorities.

I also know I wouldn’t have it any other way. The past 15-months with my daughter have been exactly what I charted out for us. We are a team. I’m just still trying to figure out what to do with that registered dietitian nutritionist part of me (and it’s a big part!) that feels ignored and set off track.

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