Complete or Incomplete on My Own?

Dating in my twenties, I was always confused. If I am content on my own, complete on my own, then how will I find a mate—isn’t he supposed to complete me? But when I was not content and felt incomplete, I attracted guys who weren’t healthy for me.

This morning I had the following thought: We’re supposed to be complete in ourselves, and they are supposed to be complete in themselves. When we find each other, we combine our two complete, healthy selves to form a unit that creates a whole new dimension: a family. Raising kids; being a home for others to find solace in—a place of stability, and one of generosity. And my complete self combined with his complete self builds the strongest family/home foundation. I guess that’s one meaning of the Jewish Hebrew blessing given to newly weds, that they build a “bayit ne’eman be’Yisrael,” a stable home within their Jewish tradition. Here, “ne’eman” connotes stability and reliability, as it does in another Hebrew phrase, “yated ne’eman,” which literally means “a peg strongly anchored in the ground.”

2 healthy selves become 1.

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