Identity Subsumed in Child

I love my daughter but a part of me feels like my whole life is turned upside down and I have lost who I used to be in my new identity as mama.

I have modified my career path (at least for now) to make a steady income while being able to be with my baby—now toddler—daughter: I take her to work, I work at her preschool, I even work another childcare gig on the weekend and I tote her along. She is my side kick, my partner in crime.

One afternoon the school let out 1.5 hours early for a holiday. My husband came to pick up my daughter and I went home separately for some mental rest. Then I realized that I could run a self-care errand! But soon after I remembered that I had to wait for my husband and daughter to come home since my house keys were in my daughter’s stroller. I couldn’t get into my house to get my wallet so I couldn’t yet leave for the errand.

I was grateful to my husband for watching our little nugget while I got some me-time, but all along I couldn’t help but notice how being locked out of my home, was a metaphor for being locked out from myself.

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