For years I’ve been agonizing over the shul (aka synagogue) I attended. Trying to find the perfect fit. The perfect community. Where I feel accepted, where I feel safe, where I feel appreciated. As in most areas of my life, I had very HIGH expectations: to get along with everyone, to feel no social pressure whatsoever.
Recently I realized how unrealistic this goal is. Just as no human is perfect, no community is perfect. And now I see I was putting too much pressure on and expecting too much from the shuls I attend/ed.
Letting go of my unrealistic, lofty expectations is a relief!