Under Construction

I remember seeing construction sites when I was going through a hard time after breaking up with my boyfriend in 2007. It was a relationship I started on the heels of my father’s sudden passing, so as you can imagine, I wasn’t in the healthiest, most fulfilled inner state.

When I saw construction sites, I was like, “Yes, me too! I am under construction!”

I had been broken and I was building myself back up—slowly but surely.

Now it’s 2021, and there have been many cycles of breaking down and building back up.

As I move out of my current rental home, which is renowned for its poor structural build, I will miss it greatly. But I feel like the past two years I’ve strengthened my own foundation and found solid ground. So I feel like moving to a home that is structurally sound will be the perfect fit.

Plus, instead of the second floor being on top, it is on the bottom—since we will have a finished basement. I will miss how having a second floor in my current home reminds me of my childhood home, but I am happy this home has a finished basement. That is also reminiscent of my childhood home. It also represents going deeper within myself. Nurturing myself; having a colorful and rich life that I appreciate and not needing others to validate my worth. I’ve had a lot of creativity buried inside of me for a while. But it’s been disorganized and un/under-expressed.

This past year I’ve really dug deep and thought about life and my personal journey. I have been finishing my psychological basement, so to speak. Deepening my roots. Appreciating myself and all that I bring to the table and not needing others to give me my self-worth.

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