Never-Ending Lists

Never-ending lists of demands
Too many I can’ts
Not enough I cans 
A list so long I cannot tackle
An abyss so deep I remain shackled
to a past I cannot shake
to an ache I cannot fake 
to a destiny I choose to forsake 
So I have no choice but to procrastinate 
or allow myself to fail and falter 
admit my goals are not an altar
just a gentle step in the right direction
a realistic goal, a relief from tension
cuz this mountain’s getting high
and I can no longer get by 
with the harsh words of my inner critic 
the jaded one, my inner cynic
so I throw myself a life preserver
and try my best to preserve
the dignity and self-respect that remains 
and all my urges I’ll try to tame 
try not to believe the black and white
allow myself to let things be alright 
to live in calm instead of flight or fight