When I perform yoga poses with agility, when I work 10-hour days while raising a family with stamina, this impresses upon me the idea that I am accomplished, a go-getter. Adrenaline runs through my veins as I continue to day in and day out keep up with my dutiful and diligent performance in life.
But doing yoga this morning, I realized that by being sick yesterday, my body was reminding me that I am not all-powerful.
Sticking to a schedule and being a reliable worker is great. Having a positive impact on the world and on one’s family is great. But the adrenaline rush that fuels my action is NOT great. It creates constant stress in my system. Sometimes leading to an escalation or blow-out of some sort, sometimes expressing itself in quieter ways. But I don’t want any part of that silent killer. And more than that, I don’t want to keep convincing myself of the illusion that my personal greatness is getting me to where I am.
Hishtadlut is Hebrew for effort. This Jewish concept denotes that man places his effort, and G-d brings forth the result.
All too often I think I am bringing the effort AND the result. My recent stomach upset reminded me that I am mortal, frail, weak, and vulnerable.
I hope I can continue to maintain this realization; that I stop pushing so hard, and act from a place of being, rather than a place of doing.