As I referenced in my previous post my job future is up in the air. This morning I thought about how I really have to stop myself from thinking about the future. I can’t project what will happen, envision my life in months from now. I have to take things one week at a time, one day at a time. I spoke about living in the moment when Covid-19 first started—I began meditating more, working on becoming more present, on letting go of my illusion of control. But stick a job hunt into my life and old habits easily return, and I can’t find peace of mind.
When I took ballroom dancing in college I didn’t much enjoy being the one who followed, I much rather preferred to be the one leading. I found it quite difficult to wait and sense out the other person’s motion before making my own. So too in life, I prefer to lead, not follow. And as life (through G-d’s metaphorical hand) unfolds before me, I am oozing with impatience, waiting to dance!