Losing Control, Losing My Kid’s Shoes

Let me start off by saying these are $10 toddler sneakers. So they are not stressful to lose from a financial standpoint, but they represent so much.

Here’s why.

I had a whole plan for how Friday was going to go. I would go to work in the beginning of the day, leave for my dentist appointment and then go back to work. My husband would be watching our toddler daughter that day, and I would stop home before and after my dentist appointment to nurse and spend some quality time with her.

But that is now how it went…I woke up that morning to news that my hubby knocked his hand into something and needed to get an x-ray.

So I took my daughter to the preschool where I work and she attends and my husband went to get an x-ray. My hubby’s x-ray was fine, thank G-d, so it was back to the original plan. He came to pick us both up from the preschool, and I continued on to the dentist after stopping off at home to nurse my daughter.

It all worked out. Flawlessly, even. But the issue was that my mind was going bazerko. All this change from what I had expected, from what I had envisioned my day to be like the night before.

While I was leaving with my daughter and hubby from the preschool, I realized her sneakers were nowhere to be found. I had given them to her teacher but her teacher said she didn’t need them. Where DID I put them?!!

It wasn’t the sneakers themselevs but that feeling of losing track of something, that reminder that things REALLY are out of my control.

I wanted to find those sneakers sooo badly so I could keep the illusion that I had it all together, that I could make it work out even with the kinks and unexpected twisted and turns. But I didn’t find them.

Thankfully I ended up finding them when I returned to work/preschool later that day. But it was an inevitable reminder that I have to let go, invest less in my expectations of what will be, and perhaps even reduce my expectation-forming tendencies altogether.

Misplacing My Toddler’s Shoes Was a Reminder that I Am Not in Control

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