The Inner Critic: It’s Not You, It’s Them

If you are someone who struggles with a strong inner critic, this post is for you.

We have the opportunity in our days to heal. An idea that has enlightened me on my healing journey, is that much of what I want to heal isn’t inherently me.

This realization is huge, yet quite confusing, and so it’s not always easy for me to keep it in mind.

But as with any habit, if I practice reframing this, over time, it will become more natural.

Our thought processes, our inner critics, they came from somewhere outside of us. We internalized messages from figures of authority (e.g. parents, teachers) growing up.

More than that, we carry the internal struggles of our parents, our grandparents, and our ancestors before us.

I have so strongly identified with my inner critic over the years. I blame myself for the way that I blame myself. Ahhhh!! What a rabbit hole it can become!

Through mindfulness, meditation, therapy, and coaching, I have learned to take a step back and observe my thoughts as a third-party observer. To not believe everything my mind tells me.

In doing so, I see the patterns of my habitual thoughts. But this is thirty years in the making!! Are you for real? This isn’t me?

The more I heal, the more I see that my habitualized ways of thinking are not my own. I see how they have manifested in the generations before me.

And I am liberated knowing that I no longer need to berate myself for having them.

And I give myself permission to find another way to think.

In the coming days, I will be sharing with you more about my healing journey. And about the person who taught me the most about self-acceptance and inner harmony—my dad.

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