Ugly Duck Syndrome

Growing up I was the kid who everyone liked but didn’t necessarily invite to their parties. I wasn’t an outcast, but I wasn’t an incast either. I had my couple close friends and we were happy but I always wanted wished to be more part of the social world surrounding me.

Like I said in a previous post, I never felt I fit in. It’s taken years to figure out who I am versus just knowing who I am not.

In my twenties and beyond, I’ve made friends with young women who were born in America but moved to Israel as children. We connect on a deep level.

When I counsel women from different cultures I notice I also connect with them. And when I met my future husband 6 years ago, I was ecstatic that he was from India, a place I had dreamed of visiting years prior for spiritual rejuvenation and self-discovery.

And when I carried our first (and thus far, only) child, I celebrated the union of East and West by writing the phrase “East meets West!” with black paint on my very pregnant belly!

When I counsel women from different cultures, I feel connected to them. I appreciate their rich culture. Even though I am American, I grew up practicing the Jewish tradition and immersing in the Hebrew language and Israeli culture, so I’m no foreigner to the foreign!

Maybe that’s why I feel connected to them. Or maybe it’s because I like connecting to people from different walks of life.

Recently I started brushing up on my Spanish, which I took in high school and have used in my nutrition career. They said in the video that learning the language means you also learn the culture.

I minored in linguistics in college and always had a fascination with language but I focused less then on the culture and more so on the mathematic rhythms of the structure of language.

Now I am realizing ever more deeply why I’ve always felt estranged from my social surroundings.

Perhaps even before meeting and marrying my husband, I was part Indian.

Even though my skin isn’t dark like my husband’s or olive like my daughter’s, perhaps my soul is.

And do our souls even have colors anyway?

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