Positive self-talk goes a long way.
But the first step is recognizing we have self-talk in the first place.
Then listening to it.
Brace yourself, cuz if you’re like me when I first started observing my self-talk, it’s gonna sting!
Man, did I know how to put myself down!
And so often throughout the day!
Negative self-talk isn’t healthy. But subconscious negative self-talk is even worse.
At least once we shine a light on it and see it for what it is, we can address it!
Our self-talk feels like it’s us talking, but really we have internalized other’s opinions—perhaps our parents, or a strict teacher from our childhood.
And let’s face it. Even if the teacher wasn’t extra strict, she may have made us feel too loud or too giddy. Because at that point we were—in the context of her needing to keep her class disciplined.
That was when we were kids. But what if we still carry that self-consciousness as an adult?
We are no longer in a classroom. We are no longer being protected by adults watching over us.
Now we ourselves are adults! We can survive on our own. And goddamn it, we do!
So why not revise our self-talk messages too?
But jumping into positive self-talk, or cheerleading statements doesn’t always work.
It can feel fake, artificial, unbelievable.
So stay genuine to your feelings. Respect the discomfort and difficulty of the emotions. Be present with them.
And then ask yourself what you need to hear at that moment to feel supported.
Self-talk work is a lifelong process. It takes work, dedication, mindfulness, and self-compassion.
I’m not saying it’s easy. But, man, is it worth it.