Tonight into tomorrow will mark 15 years after my father’s sudden passing.
Even before he passed away, my whole life I struggled with low self-esteem.
But I covered it up with good grades and people pleasing.
Well, the illusion of control shattered in my senior year of college when I got the call from my mom to come down to the Neuro-ICU.
And losing my loving, supportive, and nurturing father did anything but BOOST my self-esteem.
Add to that, I so often looked back and wondered who I would be if he hadn’t passed away.
Still on my strict path of good grades and achievement?
But as a child, I wasn’t that way. I only became super serious from 8th grade on after getting a talking to from the principal.
If my dad hadn’t passed away suddenly when I was 21, maybe I still would have returned to the more playful, creative version of myself, but perhaps the road would have been less bumpy.
How could, how can, I ever extricate the trajectory of my personal development with the sudden death of my father when I was 21?
I can’t. And never will be able to.
I’ve watched a lot of MJ Harris videos recently. Today, this one popped up. And I can’t imagine a more apropos video, addressing the topics I mention above. Link here: https://youtu.be/RtXiuLEiNqk