Tonight into tomorrow will mark 15 years after my father’s sudden passing.

Even before he passed away, my whole life I struggled with low self-esteem.

But I covered it up with good grades and people pleasing.

Well, the illusion of control shattered in my senior year of college when I got the call from my mom to come down to the Neuro-ICU.

And losing my loving, supportive, and nurturing father did anything but BOOST my self-esteem.

Add to that, I so often looked back and wondered who I would be if he hadn’t passed away.

Still on my strict path of good grades and achievement?

But as a child, I wasn’t that way. I only became super serious from 8th grade on after getting a talking to from the principal.

If my dad hadn’t passed away suddenly when I was 21, maybe I still would have returned to the more playful, creative version of myself, but perhaps the road would have been less bumpy.

How could, how can, I ever extricate the trajectory of my personal development with the sudden death of my father when I was 21?

I can’t. And never will be able to.

I’ve watched a lot of MJ Harris videos recently. Today, this one popped up. And I can’t imagine a more apropos video, addressing the topics I mention above. Link here:

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