At my bat mitzvah party, before I gave my speech, my dad introduced me and ended by telling me to ‘speak into the microphone like a rock star.”
His demeanor was humble and kind always. And the fact that he referenced rock was, to be honest, kinda a surprise. He was after all, a huge fan of classical music.
Well, in any case, that line stayed with me all these years.
That was in 1997.
Little did I know that he would only be cheering me on for another 9 years.
At least in this world.
He passed away suddenly when I was 21 in 2006.
And for years, to some degree or another, I took his passing as a sign that I no longer deserved love, certainly not UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.
Until now, in 2021.
My father’s presence is with me stronger than ever since he passed.
As I step into a new schedule today: of working part time instead of full time, so I can have more time for psychotherapy and other health appointments, and more time for caring for my child and organizing the home,
I realize that:
Sure, my dad loved that spunky dancer/actress inside of me.
And yes, I did do pretty well at the Stand Up Comedy Open Mic last week.
But that’s not the kind of rock star my dad was talking about, after all.
Well, not that alone!
He was talking about rocking it at life.
And for the first time, in a long time, I finally think/feel, I am!